Fear Walker

Running faster
It doesn't matter
How fast I run
It follows just as fast
The time is now
Break through the fog
Turn my shaking body
Toward my fear
Open my paralyzed mouth
And breathe
Pry my eyes open
Attempt to focus
I want out
Everyday I am squeezed by fear
Fear of life of death
Of darkness and light
My throat constricting
The air is choking me
Yet I can't get enough
Scanning all directions
For a way out
I pray for eternal peace
I need to point at something
"That is my fear"
I would forever be pointing
Not pinpointing
My neck and stomach
Are sailors knots
My blood pressure boils
I worry
I have stress
To the point of distress
Depression
Yet I am still here
Still functioning
Sometimes on a challenge
I dare you to kill me
I am constantly walking through fear
Life is hard to remember
Fear walkers have little memory
Legs are jello
Shaky newborn foals
I only wish I had four
It would spread the imbalance
Giving me a larger
Center of gravity.


Obviously written during a time of great anxiety. My life seems to run on ebbs and flows on great and small anxiety. But I am still fear walking - written about 4 years ago.